Wasted Words

My trigger this morning: I Samuel 3:19. I am afraid I have wasted some words. I remember times when I wished I could bury my words in the ground. In other words, over my lifetime, I've said (or written) some things I shouldn't have said. Probably most of us have the same mouth problem to some degree.

I do want my blog to be positive, so I shall try to be succinct, and get on with it. How have I wasted my words, in general? Guilty at times of . . . wordiness, an occasional swear word (not many), gossip, negativity, silliness, nastiness, skirting the truth, unpleasantness, curtness, meanness, not saying what I should say, and I suppose, if I was honest with myself, the occasional outright lie. Sometimes I have spoken those words because they have been churning around in my head so relentlessly that they have spilled or spurted out. And, sometimes, I wonder, where did that come from? Afterwards, usually right after I say them, I get that little (or big) nudge from my conscience that makes me feel just awful, like my dog felt after he ate the dirt.

Do you remember Davy from "Anne of Avonlea?" Anne was with him when he was supposed to say his prayers, but he couldn't, because he wanted to say a bad word. So Anne told him to say it. That surprised him, and I'm sure Marilla would not have offered such sage advice. After much argument, he said the word. What was the word? LMM doesn't tell us; it was not necessary to the story. So, Pat, don't ask me. Saying the word cured his ill and he didn't want to say it again, or so I remember the story going. I loved Davy; he made me laugh. At least, after his shenigans, he was generally contrite. That didn't stop him from new shenanigans, however. And several of his shenanigans included words. It's a good read, even if you are all grown up. Better, indeed, if you are grown up.

It would be nice to have it said of me, like Samuel, that I haven't had any words fall to the ground. However, I have, and I wish them to be dug under and covered up so they will never reappear. I think that words come from thoughts, and therefore, it is better to have good thoughts. Is that possible? I believe it is, with some will power. I read some posts - news, or blogs, or Facebook, and after the posts I'll occasionally read some of the comments. There are usually as many nasty, hateful comments as there are nice comments. The haters, they are called, and rightfully so. Word wasters. Haters are wired that way, I suppose, and see no reason not to impose their nastiness and negativity upon us all. I'm not saying we should agree with everything we read or we should not comment on what we read. But, is there a way to comment without wasting words? What is wrong with "I disagree with you?" "I do not believe what you are saying is correct." Then politely, respectfully give your opinion. Even better, add your reason or source for your thought or opinion. I don't expect every person to agree with every word I say; that would be totally unreasonable and silly of me. I don't expect every person to have the same political, religious, cultural (etcetera) views that I have. However, I do appreciate honest, positive feedback that is free of hateful, disagreeable, intolerant words, even, especially, if you disagree with me.

How do I change? It will take some good, sound willpower. One of my Facebook friends said she was dropping the word "hate" from her vocabulary. This included more than "I hate so and so." It included such statements as "I hate peas" and "I hate snow." No more. Ban the word. Ban the thoughts behind the word. Deliberately plan to ban: negative words, swear words, gossipy words, silly words, useless words, mean, unpleasant words, curt words, lies and skirting the truth words.

I think, when making a deliberate life change, we need to replace the bad with good. My Dad, many years ago, replaced cigarettes with peppermints. He went from chain smoking to pepperment popping. It wasn't easy and took a lot of willpower, but he did it. Once he offered Mom a pepperment and asked, "want a cigarette?" With word changes must come attitude changes. Oh, wow, that can be difficult, can't it. Our thoughts, our beliefs, our attitudes are well engrained in us with many years of experience. One step at a time - one word at a time. A swear word? Think of all the adjectives in the dictionary. Put a dictionary by the toilet. Look for them. Practice them. Use them. Some people have a one-word fits all adjective to describe every little thing. You know what it is; I don't have to spell it out for you. It's like a mantra. To me, it smacks of a lack of class, of education, of respect. Long ago, I put that word in the ground, and it bothers me every time I hear it. Negative words. That's a problem for me. "I can't. I'm afraid. I don't know how. I'll never succeed. Dig, Peggy, dig. I can. I will. I'll fail, but I'll get up and try again. I'll learn. I can do it. And if I don't, so what? The repercussions of failure are not nearly as bad as the repercussions of not trying, although that thought is deeply engrained in me.

This is long enough. To give more examples and advise would be to waste words, and I may have lost some of you several paragraphs ago. What does this have to do with my historical journey and where my road will lead? I'm not a great conversationalist; my gift, I believe, is writing, although Toastmasters did me a world of good. In  my thought life, my personal life, and my writing life, I need to change.  I think it is a continuing process. Slipped and fell? Of course. It happens. Get up again. I enjoy writing - therefore, the words I choose are important to my journey. Weaving them just so, pruning them though it hurts: I must do it.

That is it: my challenge to myself. Recently, I took on the "Attitude of Gratitude" challenge on Facebook. That was a great challenge, and the beginning of an attitude change. I think it should be twenty-one days rather than seven. Isn't that the required number of days to have a healthy start to a life change or habit? I have challenged myself to a month worth of blog posts, every day if I can, and if not, thirty-one days close together. I want to grow my blog to the point where I post on it several days a week, and this is my change. Is it worth it to do this? I don't know. It is time consuming and has cut into my genealogy and history time. But, for me, it is something I need to do - my warm up excercise, my collection of memories, my gift to those who care about me when I'm gone. I treasure, at this time of my life, those few bits and pieces of my ancestor's lives in their own words. Hopefully, even though I have not made any significant contribution to the whole wide world, my words will help someone to change, challenge themselves, and provide some enjoyable reading and memories to someone else. I would do it if not one person read it, although I can tell by the stats and comments that some people do.

I have committed that unpardonable writer's sin: I have written too much. Therefore, I am going to stop right now, leaving myself with the challenge of St. Paul: "whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." My challenge to myself, beginning today, right now. Does that include ignoring tears and fears, bad, sad and scarey news,  and poking my head in the sand? No, of course not. But I must read, write, talk and listen with a right good will and attitude.

I took the picture, just now. Good words, a variety of them, and a small sample of what I like.